Here is the best collection of famous phrases and sayings. i hope you wil Enjoy reading them...

• Most people ignore most poetry / because / most poetry ignores most people. Author --- Adrian Mitchell

• There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead. Author --- Arthur Honegger

• Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Author --- Mark Twain

• Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. Author --- H. Jackson Brown

• Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. Author --- B. F. Skinner

• Don't be afraid to see what you see. Author --- Ronald Reagan

• There are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder. Author --- Ronald Reagan

• Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing. Author --- Bernard Baruch

• Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance. Author --- Samuel Johnson

• The internet is a great way to get on the net. Author --- Bob Dole

• Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold. Author ---Bob Marley

• When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes. Author --- Steven Wright

• Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. Author --- Fran Lebowitz

• Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. Author --- Charles Caleb Colton

• Freedom means the opportunity to be what we never thought we would be. Author --- Daniel J. Boorstin

• One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. Author --- Sophocles

• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Author --- Edgar Bergen

• If men were angels, no government would be necessary. Famous Phrase author ---James Madison

• When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas. Famous saying by author --- Evita Peron

• I could prove God statistically. Author --- George Gallup

• Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. Author -- Hedy Lamarr

• You cannot measure a man by his failures. You must know what use he makes of them. What did they mean to him. What did he get out of them. Famous saying by author --- Orison Swett Marden

• You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. Author -- Indira gandhi

• What I dream of is an art of balance. Author --- Henri Matisse

• My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. Author -- Jay London

• The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. Author --- John Sladek

• Failure is success if we learn from it. Author --- Malcolm Forbes

• In our life there is a single color, as on an artist`s palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love. Author --- Marc Chagall

• The more you can dream, the more you can do. Author --- Michael Korda

If you love wearing T-shirts and thinking to put a funny and interesting saying on your t-shirt, then you came to righ place. I am here writing some of the best hillarious and funny T-shirt sayings from which you can choose one to put up on your T-shirt. When you walk away on road with these funny T-shirt sayings on your T-shirt, you will grab the attention of everyone. I search on web and visited thousands of website and collected some of the best Funny T-shirt Sayings. Here they are:h

• Where there's a will... I want to be in it.

• No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway!

• I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

• I’m Out Of My Mind Feel Free To Leave A Message

• He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest

• Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane.

• Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane.

• Questions are never stupid, the person asking them is stupid.

• Dont follow my footsteps i walk into walls.

• My silence is my sound…

• Soccer is the best forget about the rest...

• I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

• You can't have everything....where would you put it?

• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

• If you want to look young and thin, hang around old

• Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

• A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one.

• He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

• Being yourself is being the person everyone else wants you to be.

• God is clever, but not dishonest.

• Between thought and expression lies a lifetime.

• You're just jealous because the voices talk to me

• I live in my own little world. It's okay! They know me here.

• I live in my own little world. It's okay! They know me here.

• The original point and click interface was a Smith &Wesson.

• The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable' .

• All generalizations are bad.

• Bad guys here.

• Hug your sewing machine.

• Back Off ! I got this.

Funny T-shirt saying you can see on my T-shirt: Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Cheers

circular for ur Office notice boards:

Dear Staff,

Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
ANNUAL LEAVE:

Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wow!). They are called Sunday.
LUNCH BREAK:

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced m eal to maintain their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
SICK GÚYS:

We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
TOILET USE:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will pen and a picture will be taken.
After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.
SURGERY:

As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To hav e something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
INTERNET USAGE:

All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary. (Note: Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection).
Just for the record. 73% of the staff will not be entitled to any salary for the next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, omplaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Thanks & regards,

HRD

Pray it doesn't come on your office board.

Confusion confuses and creates confusion to further the confusion

Confusion confuses and creates confusion to further the confusion

... Read a real conversation between Mr. Watt and William Knott...
fetched from a well known BPO in Noida.

"Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.


"Watt."


"What is your name, please?"


"Watt's my name."


"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"


"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."


A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"


"No, this is Knott."


"Please tell me your name."


"Will Knott."


YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED.

READ THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...

"Why not?"

"Huh? What do you mean why not?"

"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"

"But I told you my name!"

"Didn't you say you will not?"

"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"

"That's what I mean."

"So you know my name."

"Of course not!"

"Good. So now, what is yours?"

"Watt. Yours?"

"Your name!"

"Watt's my name."

"How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"

"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you havenot even told me yours yet."

"You have been patient, what about me?"

"I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not toldme yours yet."

"Of course not!"

"See, you even know my name!"

"Of course not!"

"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"

"Because I don't."

[Pause]

"What is your name?"

"See, you know my name!"

"Of course not!"

"Then why do you keep asking ,Watt, is your name?"

"To find out your name!"

"But you already know it!"

"What?"

"See, but you know mine!"

"Of course not!"

"Exactly!"

NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME, BUT THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.

"Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be your answer?"

"Watt's my name."

"No, no, give me only one word."

"Watt"

"Your name!"

"Right!"

[Pause before it hits him]

"Oh, Wright!"

"Yeah!"


"So why didn't you say it before?"

"I told you so many times!"

"You never said Wright before"

"Of course I did."

"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"

"I do not."

"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."

"I do not!"

"Good!"

[Pause before it hits him]

"Oh, Guud!"

"Good."

"No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"

"No, it's Knott!"

"Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."

"Yes Wright."

NOW THEY BOTH THINK THEY KNOW EACH OTHER'S NAME AS WELL !!